This is a peer review for a classmates Publishing 101 essay about the shift from print to digital culture.
Kanye began his essay post with an image that immediately got me thinking about each of the words that he included. It was a very effective way for the reader to get in the mindset that he wanted them to be in.
Kanye’s writing right off the bat is a little hesitant, but he relates it to his own experiences of talking to family back in Uganda really well, which helps solidify what he is saying about the benefits of the transition into a digital based way of communication. He backs up his claim with plenty of sources, many of which we read in class so it gives the reader of his essay an extra insight into what he is saying as we read it as well. He could elaborate on some of his claims a bit more, however with the word limit we were given it is understandable that he couldn’t go into as much detail. Despite that, I would have liked to have seen him build more on this quote “Digital literacy came with the power of convenience and simplicity”, in the second paragraph. It would have been good to spend more time on only a couple of claims and really build them into solid arguments, rather than try to pack in a lot of ideas and examples.
His use of the two images are used really well to back up his claims and provide a visual break from long paragraphs. I loved his mentioning of the one way flow of communication that the medium of print provided us, and how digital communication has grown so that authors are able to establish more of a two way form of communication, and the formation of a community. At this point a few examples would have been handy however, such as the use of Twitter to create a conversation.
Kanye’s continual use of the newspaper as the true original form of communication was smart because he had a continual flow throughout the essay that worked really well. It tied things together nicely. His final paragraph mentions that the shift has done “more good than harm”. He could have left this part out since he never mentioned any of the potentially harmful side effects of a digital culture. Overall, his essay was very well researched and he had some great thoughts. Kanye would have benefitted from someone proof reading the essay for him, as I found a few grammatical errors and sentences that didn’t flow as well as they could have, but it didn’t deter from the reading too much.